The Friend Zone

Recently, a friend of mine asked “Where are all the decent guys in Sydney?”

The reply, “They’re all stuck in your friend zone.”

Upon hearing this story and having had a good laugh over it, we both realised that this is extremely true. All the men that would have otherwise been deemed ‘eligible’ on paper are, in fact, in our friend zones. Why is this?

Why do women prefer to see perfectly good guys as friends rather than potential love interests? More importantly, what can a guy do to decrease the chances of being plunged into the despairing depths of the friend zone? (Like the messenger who got kicked into the bottomless pit by King Leonidas. Sorry buddy)

First impressions

Guys will usually be ‘sorted’ on the first meeting, whether it be a first date, arranged set-up or simple serendipitous moment.

Physical attraction does matter. A lot.

If a woman isn’t romantically or sexually attracted to you, well then, the bubble has burst. It would be hard to make a comeback in this situation – in which case you would have to rely on your charming wit and amazing sense of humour. This situation is, however, rather precarious as one wrong move could land you in the “I get along with this guy so well it’s like we’re best friends” category. Sad face :(

How you relate to her

Personally, I think that it’s better to be flirtatious from the get-go! Don’t even give her the chance to start seeing you as a friend!

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not advocating sleazy moves or shallow chit-chat – you should still make a good effort to get to know her, but don’t treat her like a good friend right from the very beginning. Reminding a woman of the fact that you are ‘romantically interested’ is vital (and sexy! Am I right, ladies?)

Don’t get to know her as a friend, get to know her as a potential love interest.

Ultimately – and I feel all clichéd and cheesy for saying this – it’s best to just be yourself. Don’t do anything that feels unnatural to you, because a woman might pick up on this and interpret it as a self-esteem or confidence issue, which is so deeply unattractive (well, to me anyway).

Just remember to include some subtle flirtation (rawr) and see how it goes from there!

I think that’s how I would play it if I were a man :)

– K


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