To Love Is To Live Dangerously

Hello, hope you’ve been up to lots of mischief :)

I feel like today’s post has to be about failing relationships. I can’t avoid this topic because recently it’s just been seeping into my life. Luckily though, I myself have remained unscathed, but my friends haven’t faired so well.

It’s no secret how averse I am to serious relationships, so what happens when some of my best friends go through constant shit in their’s? Crazy cat lady in the making here…. [throws around a few cats]

What I see is pain… a lot of pain. And from what I can gather, the ups are never worth the downs. Broken hearts, realisations of a ‘perfect future’ completely dashed, emotional abuse, wrecked lives and buckets of tears that could keep my pot pants alive till spring.

It’s not pretty and I abhor seeing my friends go through hell. It’s also completely frustrating to see them go through the same cycle over and over, clinging onto that faint glimmer of light that comes and goes, putting their own future on the line in order to make it work. From my vantage point… I don’t get it any more. Not after the 38th breakup. When you’re unhappy 80% of the time why hang onto that source of pain? What makes this guy so special when you’re crying yourself to sleep as often as you walk the dog?

Love plays tricks on the mind: it clouds your sense of judgement, makes you see him in a better light, and quite frankly, makes you do embarrassing things in public. At least alcohol flushes out of your system and you learn your lesson the next day [when the pictures of you dancing on a table top start to surface]. Love isn’t quite that obliging.

Deep down you know it won’t work. Funny thing is, you’ve probably known it for a lot longer than I have. Only difference? I don’t love the bastard so my decisions are unaffected by hopes for the future and memories of the past. The present is a whole different story and if you find that the 3 are far beyond reconciliation then its time to move on. Actually the time to move on was about a year ago, but better late than never.

Toxic relationships are dangerous for one reason: they’re addictive and take everything you have to get out. I’ve been in one and it was such a horrible period of my life. Horrible!!

I confess, the events of the past week have scared me shitless. I am so turned off by the idea of a relationship.

To do list – buy a new cat.

But seriously, I hope that those of you who know that you have to get out of your relationship can find the strength to do so. I hope that, on your own terms, you act upon your instincts and pull away from the things that hurt you. It’ll be hard, I know, but I’ll be there with you …either by your side or a phone call away.

See you on the other side :)

– K


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