Its hard to pigeon-hole this post, but perhaps it is a culmination of the countless scribbled down thoughts that periodically spring into my mind during sleepless nights.
I suppose I’m posting this because it was a recent topic of conversation between a friend and I. After getting back from a month-long holiday, I had dinner with E to catch up on the thick and thins of our youth.
The subject was dating (naturally)… and after a long session of omnoming, venting and laughing, we both realised one thing: E and I are too neurotic to be one of those casually cool chicks who date mysterious men on and off. Its not us and it is not what makes us happy. Its not like we figured out the meaning of life here, but it was important to me because we were finally able to admit it.
That night I laid there in bed for hours, unable to sleep thanks to the awful side effects of a Varicella booster shot I got earlier in the afternoon. As I rubbed tiger balm into the aches of my shoulders, my mind wondered onto what my conversation with E made me realize.
When it comes to love, I want simplicity. Straightforwardness. No games.
I need someone who makes me feel more than they make me think.
I find that I am always over thinking things, and it sucks because I want my life to be about how each day and each person changes the way I live my life.
In order to do so I need to understand strength in patience and peace in forgiveness.
But what I think I need most is someone who needs me just as much as I need them. And for once in my life I will be unselfish.