I’m not in love and I haven’t been for a very long time. It’s ancient history, baby, and I’m not sure if this is a good or bad situation to be in. But hey, this post is not about my love life hehe.
This post is for all the girls out there who are feeling lost in their relationships.
“What happened to the perfect couple that I built up in mind? We strayed so far from who we used to be. I mean, everything would be perfect if we could just go back to how it used to be.”
Yes, at one time or another, I’ve harboured all these crazy emotions in my overloaded cranium. Goodness, I’m glad it hasn’t happened for a lengthy amount of time because, well, emotional stress makes me very mopey and a little chubby :)
Unfortunately, a few close friends are currently going through mini roller coasters of their own (
choosing). So why go on? Why do we keep dragging out this long process of mental destruction? Because we want to be optimistic! If not for the sake of Love, when?!
That illusion of the One Great Love is killing us slowly. And we let it, because our minds are still prisoners to the idea that truly epic love takes large amounts of work. And those countless hours of hard work can sometimes bring about emotional turmoil. If this is the thinking that is pushing you into saving a dying relationship, then do your own heart a favour and remember these words:
How do we know when it’s over?
Maybe when you feel more in love with your memories than with the person standing in front of you.
These are brilliant words of advice :)
Its a logic that’s simple and straightforward, like a gentle tap on the shoulder, something an older brother might say to a much loved younger sister.
When we see something broken, we want to try our hardest to mend it, especially if we’ve held this thing in our hands with excitement and love and trust. Especially if we cherish it. But you know what? We can’t be that way with love.
A truly broken love can’t be restored because it shatters too much of our own souls. How can we mend something if we are broken ourselves?
Perhaps my words are too harsh, and I know that many of you will feel that my type of outlook equates to a “ragequit” …but through all my days I have never once seen a broken couple patch their relationship back together into anything worth saving. I’m not talking about just a really big fight. I’m talking about those moments where your heart and your mind are at odds with each other (and your gut instinct has jumped out of the window to avoid the hooplah). You loooove him so much that your bones ache (
or you used to, at least) but he’s turning into someone who you really don’t think you can love.
Well babe, I have to let you know: you don’t really love someone if you can’t accept who they are right in this very moment. If time froze, looped the past fortnight and repeated for all eternity, would you be happy?
If its not a resolute YES, then its time to move on.
I am only going on what I have seen and experienced myself, so I apologize if you are offended.
My thinking is this: there are so many people that you have yet to meet, yet to love, yet to look upon with de-puffed eyes. I truly believe that if you’re with that soul mate of yours (oh, you lucky duckling), then you will never doubt your love for that person.
It’s not a silly Disney-fuelled dream. It’s the ideal and it is out there. We will not settle for a mediocre love.
And you know what? If you are with this person, you will love this person and yourself entirely; for the memories, understanding and trust that you’ve built, for the way he or she makes you feel at the end of each day (averaged out, of course! Life comes with thicks and thins), and also for the strength that the current state of your relationship lends to your future together.
I am sure that you will make the right decision. You are so smart, so beautiful, so loved by family and friends who support you, that you will choose happiness over sorrow.
Okay, I’ll leave it here because it is almost 4:30 am here in Sydney.
Good night, for tomorrow will be a beaaaautiful day!