When Life Gives You Watermelons

When life, with all its splendidly happy accidents, actually gives you watermelons (yay!) instead of sour lemons (boo!)

Possibly-true-but-awkwardly-unconfirmed Scenario Uno:

When a guy is genuine enough to make the most hardened of girls fall for him, that’s the moment I will yell “How dare you! Don’t you know how long I’ve spent developing the perfect system for never letting boys in? What makes you so different? What gives you the audacity to attempt such nonsense!

To which he replies, “I guess, in this instance, there is no perfect answer that I can give to remedy this peculiar situation. All I know is, this is what I want for you as much as for myself.

To which I say, “Screw you and your perfectly charming everything! Now, good sir, please consider my proposal: that we continue this rendezvous without sensational expectations and wild-eyed hopes.

To which he concedes, “Anything for you.

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Balancing Out The Cheer

I am feeling a very dark vibe tonight! Not because I am a horribly emo person, but because it brings an interesting balance to my I-am-so-chipper!-days.

super saturated and grainy

Thinking back to the last time I ever loved a man, my fingertips made sweet sweet love to the matte black keys of my laptop.

And then this happened:

His love had stripped me of my armour. It was a starving pack of wolves. I was surrounded before I had even registered the danger, and quickly devoured before I could run.

It tore into my flesh, took chunks out of me.

I bled for him.

I still do.

Goodnight my sweet potatoes! (What did I say? Balance)

– Jess

Splinter

I’ve said it on this blog before: trust is highly flammable. One little spark and it all goes up in flames, baby. I don’t appreciate it when guys play around with me. It’s not cool and I will have none of it.

You hurt me, but that’s okay. I’ve spent the past three years dodging bullets like you. The occasional hit is just a part of the job.

Eyes gif

“You’re just like the rest of them and I regret you from the beginning to this end”

Addition: It should be simple. So fucking simple that it makes you laugh out loud at the thought of all those past relationships that were murky and unclear. I get that now, and I think I’ve found a path to wiser decisions.

Is this my own “Dear John” letter, T-Swift style? I suppose it is, and it’s funny because his name really was John, hehe!

Breathing out poison, breathing in forgiveness

Every Lady Loves A Gentleman

Here’s a bit of food for thought…

I’ve noticed that women tend to ask the question “where are all the good guys?”. On the other hand, men tend to ask “where are all the girls?” Period.

Here is the fundamental difference in the way men and women perceive the grand process of finding love. Women go into it with a pre-existing set of criteria that will either make a man “good” or “bad” …and the decision is usually made early on in the relationship. Women can’t stand to waste time: we know what we want and we’re not settling for anything less, but are we sacrificing potential for efficiency?

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To Love Is To Live Dangerously

Hello, hope you’ve been up to lots of mischief :)

I feel like today’s post has to be about failing relationships. I can’t avoid this topic because recently it’s just been seeping into my life. Luckily though, I myself have remained unscathed, but my friends haven’t faired so well.

It’s no secret how averse I am to serious relationships, so what happens when some of my best friends go through constant shit in their’s? Crazy cat lady in the making here…. [throws around a few cats]

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Smelling Like A Man

Oh mmmm :)

Honestly, I am obsessed with the way guys smell. Let me clarify first: the way a guy who takes care of himself smells. Clean, fresh and seductive. I looooove when you hug your boyfriend (or hookup …but then it wouldn’t be a hug would it?) and they smell so good.

That natural man smell just makes me weak at the knees!

So occasionally I like to spritz a bit of cologne on myself. Given that I’m a girl, I damn well can’t get that natural man-smell going, so cologne is the next best thing.

Right now I’m wearing Boss Orange Man

Every time a guy wearing the same cologne as a guy in dating walks past I’m like “ohh baby” [deliberately walks behind him]. That creepy girl who walked too close to you on the street …yeah that was me … I no stalker!

On the other hand, I think its pretty sexy for a girl to smell a bit masculine sometimes …masculine chic, that is.

– K

2 Rules for Dating – The Pick Up and the Call

Long time no see :)

A week in the blogosphere is a long time to be away and I’m glad to be back. So after a busy week and a complete lack of inspiration, I finally have something I want to blog about.

So I’ve been thinking …there’s a lot to learn about a man just from how he behaves when he first meets you. Does he give you his number or will he ask for yours? Call me old fashioned, but some dating traditions should be preserved.

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Biggest Dating Turn Offs In Men

Let’s take a look at some of the most repulsive things that a guy can possibly do on a date. Of course its all personal opinion, but I’ve tried to focus on the most common turn-offs out there. These are no-brainers!

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The Absolute Truth

So, as per my previous post, I’m up late on a coffee high!

After lying in bed for a good hour or two I’ve actually had quite a few revelations about the current state of my love life. Well, to be fair, it’s not entirely appropriate to use the word love. My life has been devoid of love for quite some time now and, up until recently, I had believed it to be fine.

To me love was all about laying yourself bare to another. Couldn’t handle it. Didn’t want to take the risk. I’m the last person you’d call trusting, especially when it comes to men, so when I stumble upon a genuinely nice guy I tend to ruin things by remaining closed off. I can’t pin-point the exact moment when my faith in love died but I will say that it can be resurrected. Surely it can.

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