We have to realize that our choices define us. We run on records and build reputations, and because we are limited in the way we understand the motivations of others, we must form estimations based on past behaviour. Never forget that you will be judged and measured by this. Some choices hurt others, and regardless of whether there is regret or forgiveness, they are recorded just the same.
In swoops the self-declared hero of the story, the Second Chance, braying about the inevitability of mistakes. But he is killed off promptly by the fact that his very existence is reliant upon there never being the need for the Third, Fourth and Fifth Chance. How rarely that happens. And at one point in the story, faith and trust will abandon him.
You may be wondering, why do faith and trust abandon such a noble cause? Because even if you are forgiven, for whatever hurtful or disappointing thing that was done, still it is impossible to venture into peoples minds and erase the fact that it occurred in the first place.
There is no going back, no way of wiping the slate clean. Your choices define you because they are a series of decisions you make based on the priorities that you assign to every aspect of your life. Make sure you do not lose whats important.
I’m tired of giving him the benefit of a doubt. Why? Because I do not want to date a man that makes me doubt myself. If I am only to trust and believe in the goodness of one person in this world, it will be me.
The ripples of seemingly insignificant decisions venture outwards, and in their wake, impact upon areas of our lives that carry much greater importance. Every action and every choice has its implications – the events of our lives are interconnected like 5 am dew-lined cobwebs.
Each drop is a possibility, a moment, a laugh, a solution, a love lost.
Forethought is recommended.
– Jess the Cat
When life, with all its splendidly happy accidents, actually gives you watermelons (yay!) instead of sour lemons (boo!)
Possibly-true-but-awkwardly-unconfirmed Scenario Uno:
When a guy is genuine enough to make the most hardened of girls fall for him, that’s the moment I will yell “How dare you! Don’t you know how long I’ve spent developing the perfect system for never letting boys in? What makes you so different? What gives you the audacity to attempt such nonsense!”
To which he replies, “I guess, in this instance, there is no perfect answer that I can give to remedy this peculiar situation. All I know is, this is what I want for you as much as for myself.”
To which I say, “Screw you and your perfectly charming everything! Now, good sir, please consider my proposal: that we continue this rendezvous without sensational expectations and wild-eyed hopes.”
To which he concedes, “Anything for you.”
This is a beautiful quote.
She puts her hands on either side of my face, and the room falls away.
I have never gotten so lost in a kiss before. And then, the space between us explodes. My heart keeps missing beats and my hands cannot bring her close enough to me.
I taste her and realize I have been starving.
I have loved before, but it didn’t feel like this.
I have kissed before, but it didn’t burn me alive.
Maybe it lasts a minute, and maybe it’s an hour. All I know is that kiss, and how soft her skin is when it brushes against mine, and that even if I did not know it until now, I have been waiting for this person forever.
Now this is romance – so raw and unashamed.
I am feeling a very dark vibe tonight! Not because I am a horribly emo person, but because it brings an interesting balance to my I-am-so-chipper!-days.
Thinking back to the last time I ever loved a man, my fingertips made sweet sweet love to the matte black keys of my laptop.
And then this happened:
His love had stripped me of my armour. It was a starving pack of wolves. I was surrounded before I had even registered the danger, and quickly devoured before I could run.
It tore into my flesh, took chunks out of me.
I bled for him.
I still do.
Goodnight my sweet potatoes! (What did I say? Balance)
(I loved you… )
Realistically speaking, what happens when two people are separated because of circumstances that can’t be helped? They break up… they try to move on and forget that nagging “what if… ”
You tell yourself that perhaps it wasn’t supposed to work out anyway, because life is the way it is, and people can’t sustain a relationship if they are separated by oceans and time. So you forget.
And one day, you get out of bed thinking that this day will be just like any other, only to be smacked in the face by that insidious thing called Fate.
I’ve said it on this blog before: trust is highly flammable. One little spark and it all goes up in flames, baby. I don’t appreciate it when guys play around with me. It’s not cool and I will have none of it.
You hurt me, but that’s okay. I’ve spent the past three years dodging bullets like you. The occasional hit is just a part of the job.
“You’re just like the rest of them and I regret you from the beginning to this end”
Addition: It should be simple. So fucking simple that it makes you laugh out loud at the thought of all those past relationships that were murky and unclear. I get that now, and I think I’ve found a path to wiser decisions.
Is this my own “Dear John” letter, T-Swift style? I suppose it is, and it’s funny because his name really was
Breathing out poison, breathing in forgiveness
If a girl had been worth having, she’d have waited for you?
No, sir, the girl really worth having won’t wait for anybody.
– F. Scott Fitzgerald
Don’t sit idly by as his life rushes forward. Keep living each day with the same rigour as if you had never crossed paths.
That’s the ultimate test; to see if two lives, two minds, two universes can collide without fatality. A soul mate isn’t someone who completes you. A soul mate isn’t someone who’s there every time you turn around. There’s no balance in that. I already have a shadow, and I don’t want another.
Find the person that expands your horizons and forces you out of your comfort zone. Find a love so adventurous that it make’s you swallow your fears.
Travel the world together. Recreate the world together.
Find the person that makes you feel strong enough and brave enough to change your life for the better.
No waiting involved. Life is too short.
I’m not in love and I haven’t been for a very long time. It’s ancient history, baby, and I’m not sure if this is a good or bad situation to be in. But hey, this post is not about my love life hehe.
This post is for all the girls out there who are feeling lost in their relationships.
“What happened to the perfect couple that I built up in mind? We strayed so far from who we used to be. I mean, everything would be perfect if we could just go back to how it used to be.”
Yes, at one time or another, I’ve harboured all these crazy emotions in my overloaded cranium. Goodness, I’m glad it hasn’t happened for a lengthy amount of time because, well, emotional stress makes me very mopey and a little chubby :)
Its hard to pigeon-hole this post, but perhaps it is a culmination of the countless scribbled down thoughts that periodically spring into my mind during sleepless nights.
I suppose I’m posting this because it was a recent topic of conversation between a friend and I. After getting back from a month-long holiday, I had dinner with E to catch up on the thick and thins of our youth.
The subject was dating (naturally)… and after a long session of omnoming, venting and laughing, we both realised one thing: E and I are too neurotic to be one of those casually cool chicks who date mysterious men on and off. Its not us and it is not what makes us happy. Its not like we figured out the meaning of life here, but it was important to me because we were finally able to admit it.
That night I laid there in bed for hours, unable to sleep thanks to the awful side effects of a Varicella booster shot I got earlier in the afternoon. As I rubbed tiger balm into the aches of my shoulders, my mind wondered onto what my conversation with E made me realize.
When it comes to love, I want simplicity. Straightforwardness. No games.
I need someone who makes me feel more than they make me think.
I find that I am always over thinking things, and it sucks because I want my life to be about how each day and each person changes the way I live my life.
In order to do so I need to understand strength in patience and peace in forgiveness.
But what I think I need most is someone who needs me just as much as I need them. And for once in my life I will be unselfish.